In the ideal world, parents are the unwavering pillars of support, love, and guidance. However, the stark reality for some is far from this nurturing image. Toxic parental relationships can cast long shadows over one’s life, affecting well-being, self-esteem, and personal growth. At SheThrives, we believe in empowering you to recognise these challenging dynamics and equip you with strategies to foster healing and healthier interactions. Let’s navigate the stormy waters of toxic parenthood together.
All I ever wanted to hear from her lips was 'I love you', I'm 53 now and I've still never heard her say those words to anyone! She never showed any type of emotions. to us kids, but I refuse to agree that it was because of her upbringing, I chose to be the opposite to her and she could also have chosen to break the cycle, She's not spoken to me in 3 years. I'm definitely done trying.
- Debbie S.
Recognising the Signs of Toxic Parents
1. Constant Criticism: A hallmark of a toxic parental relationship is persistent criticism. Whether it’s your career choices, lifestyle, or personal interests, nothing seems to be good enough. This relentless critique can erode your self-esteem over time.
2. Manipulative Behaviours: Toxic parents often use manipulation to control or influence your actions and decisions. This can take the form of guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or financial leverage, leaving you feeling trapped or powerless.
3. Lack of Boundaries: A toxic parent may not respect your personal space or privacy, insisting on being overly involved in your life. They may demand an unreasonable amount of your time and attention, disregarding your needs and boundaries.
4. Emotional Unavailability: While they’re quick to demand your emotional support, toxic parents may be distant or dismissive of your emotional needs. This one-sided dynamic can leave you feeling unsupported and isolated.
I left home when I was 17 and never went back. I'm very blessed to be where I am at today.
- Peggy P.
Strategies for Dealing With Toxic Parents
1. Set Firm Boundaries: Establishing and maintaining clear boundaries is crucial. This might involve limiting contact, setting specific topics off-limits, or deciding on acceptable ways and times to communicate. Be consistent and assertive in enforcing these boundaries.
2. Seek Support: Navigating a toxic parental relationship can be emotionally taxing. Lean on friends, partners, or a professional therapist for support. They can offer an outside perspective and emotional validation, helping you to cope.
3. Cultivate Self-Care: Prioritise your mental and emotional well-being. Engage in activities that nurture your soul, affirm your worth, and strengthen your resilience. Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or pursuing hobbies that bring you joy, self-care is a powerful tool in healing from toxic relationships.
4. Foster Healthy Communication: When possible, strive for open and honest communication. Express your feelings and needs clearly, without blame or accusation. While changing your parent’s behaviour may not be possible, you can take control of how you respond and communicate.
5. Embrace Detachment: In some cases, the healthiest option may be to detach from the toxic relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean cutting ties completely but rather emotionally distancing yourself to protect your well-being. It’s about accepting that you cannot change your parent but can change how much they affect you.
It is hard when you hear people posting about you have one mother except they have no idea what people are like behind closed doors. One important lesson my mother taught me I would never want to be like her.
- Mary G.
Healing and Moving Forward
Healing from the effects of toxic parenting is a journey—one that is deeply personal and can take time. It involves grieving the loss of the parental support you deserved, acknowledging the impact on your life, and, importantly, recognising your own strength and resilience. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and remember that moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting—it means choosing yourself and your happiness above all.
Empowering Yourself and Others
In sharing our stories and strategies for dealing with toxic parental relationships, we hope to foster a community of support and empowerment. If you’ve navigated these challenges, your insights could light the way for someone else in the midst of their struggle.
At SheThrives, we’re committed to creating a space where difficult topics are approached with empathy, understanding, and a focus on empowerment. Together, we can thrive, overcoming the challenges of yesterday to build a brighter, healthier tomorrow.