How to be a Better Friend When You Have Kids

When you become a parent, it's easy for your world to revolve entirely around your child. While it's important to prioritise your family, it's equally important to maintain strong friendships with the people who matter to you. However, staying connected with friends when you have kids can be challenging. You may feel like you don't have enough time or energy to keep in touch, or you may struggle to find common ground with friends who don't have children.

The good news is that with a little effort and creativity, you can maintain strong friendships even when you have kids. In this article, we'll explore practical tips for being a better friend when you're a parent, from setting realistic expectations to finding ways to connect despite busy schedules.

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Set Realistic Expectations

One of the biggest challenges of maintaining friendships as a parent is managing expectations. You may feel guilty for not being able to see your friends as often as you used to, or you may worry that they will judge you for not being as available as you once were. However, it's important to remember that everyone's lives and priorities change over time, and true friends will understand and support you through this transition.

To avoid unnecessary stress and guilt, be upfront with your friends about your availability and limitations. Let them know that you still care about them and want to maintain your friendship, but that your schedule is more limited now that you have kids. By setting realistic expectations, you'll avoid disappointment and build a stronger foundation for your friendship.

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Make Time for One-on-One Connection

While group hangouts can be fun, they can also be overwhelming when you have kids. If you want to deepen your friendships, consider scheduling one-on-one time with your friends instead. This allows you to have more meaningful conversations and build a stronger connection without the distraction of a group.

To make one-on-one time more manageable, consider setting up a regular schedule that works for both of you. Whether it's a weekly phone call or a monthly coffee date, having a standing appointment can make it easier to prioritise your friendship in the midst of a busy schedule.

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Find Ways to Include Your Kids

If you feel like your kids are a barrier to maintaining your friendships, consider finding ways to include them in your social life. While it may not be possible to do this for every outing, there are many activities that can be enjoyable for both adults and kids. For example, you could plan a picnic or a park playdate with your friends and their kids, or you could invite them over for a casual backyard barbecue.

By finding ways to include your kids, you'll not only deepen your friendships, but you'll also be modeling the importance of relationships and social connection to your children.

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Be Present and Listen

When you do have the opportunity to connect with your friends, make the most of it by being present and fully engaged in the conversation. This means putting away your phone and giving your friend your undivided attention. By listening attentively and showing genuine interest in what they have to say, you'll deepen your connection and build a stronger friendship.

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Be Flexible and Open to Change

Finally, it's important to be flexible and open to change as you navigate friendships with kids. Your priorities and availability may shift as your kids grow and your life changes, and your friends' lives will change too. By staying open to new experiences and being willing to adapt to change, you can maintain strong friendships even as your lives evolve.

Here are some additional tips for maintaining friendships as a parent:

• Be honest with your friends about what you need. If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't be afraid to ask for help from your friends. They may be able to offer childcare, or they may just be there to listen and offer support.
• Be creative with your communication. If you can't meet up in person, find other ways to stay connected. You could video chat, send each other emails or texts, or even play online games together.
• Don't give up. It takes time and effort to maintain friendships, especially when you have kids. But it's worth it to have people in your life who support you and who you can enjoy spending time with.

Here are some final thoughts on maintaining friendships as a parent:

• It's okay to say no. If you're not feeling up to socializing, don't feel guilty about saying no to invitations. Your friends will understand.
• Don't compare yourself to other parents. Everyone's parenting journey is different. Just focus on doing what's best for you and your family.
• Remember that friendships are a two-way street. Be sure to put in as much effort as you expect from your friends.

Maintaining friendships as a parent can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you're not alone. There are many other parents out there who are going through the same thing. With a little effort and creativity, you can stay connected with your friends and build strong relationships that will last a lifetime.