Emma's story is one of courage and self-empowerment in the realm of dating. After a herpes diagnosis, she faced uncertainty and stigma. In this Thrive Tale, Emma sheds light on her journey of resilience and growth while navigating the dating world with herpes.
SheThrives: Emma, can you share your experience of discovering you had herpes?
Emma: Of course. It was a challenging time, especially since my partner reacted defensively when I tried to discuss how I might have contracted herpes from him after three years together.
SheThrives: How did you cope with such a situation?
Emma: Dealing with the stigma and discomfort around discussing sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be quite challenging. Sadly, many people are defensive when it comes to these conversations. However, I soon realised that my well-being was more important.
SheThrives: Can you provide some information about how herpes is contracted and spread?
Emma: Certainly. Herpes, known as HSV-1 or HSV-2, is relatively common, with about 1 in 6 people aged 14 to 49 having genital herpes. Many carriers are asymptomatic or mildly symptomatic, making it challenging to detect without specific testing. It can be transmitted through oral-genital contact, and it's essential to note that herpes testing is not included in standard STI panels.
SheThrives: How did you approach dating after your diagnosis?
Emma: Initially, I felt anxious about dating with herpes, fearing judgment or being perceived as sexually adventurous. However, I soon learned that herpes is not as significant a concern as society often portrays it.
SheThrives: What advice would you offer to others in a similar situation?
Emma: First and foremost, put yourself out there, even if it feels intimidating. Remember that herpes is more common than you might think, and many people are enjoying fulfilling relationships while managing it. Your diagnosis doesn't define you.
SheThrives: Can you share insights on disclosing your herpes status to potential partners?
Emma: When you decide to disclose your herpes status, do it in a casual and comfortable setting, not in the heat of the moment. Keep it short and offer to provide more information or answer any questions. Mention that HSV is the same virus that causes cold sores, and with proper management, transmission risk is low. Give your potential partner time to process and do their research.
SheThrives: How did dating with herpes impact your self-perception and relationships?
Emma: My herpes diagnosis actually made me more open and vulnerable while dating. While there may be rejections, there are also many who will accept you for who you are. You'll grow stronger as you continue these conversations.
SheThrives: What message would you like to convey to those who may judge or stigmatise individuals with herpes?
Emma: Anyone who judges or stigmatises someone with herpes is missing the point. Herpes can be transmitted through any sexual contact with one person, and it's not for others to judge or label someone based on their health. Respect and empathy should be our guiding principles.
Emma's journey teaches us that love and self-confidence can flourish even in the face of challenging circumstances. Her story inspires us to break down stigma and embrace open and honest conversations about our health and relationships.
Disclaimer: The name has been changed to protect privacy.